Life Rewritten Read online

  “They need someone to love them. No amount of money is going to do that.”

  “I’m doing the best I can, Delaney.”

  “Really? You can’t love two kids?”

  “No.” He tossed the wooden spoon into the sink, and splatters of red streaked the white porcelain. “I’ll just…”

  He slammed the lid onto the pan with the sauce. “Let’s go read the damn book.”

  Delaney sat on the couch and guided Rennie to the floor at her feet. Leo made a show of playing with his cell phone, but he was watching them closely.

  Sam sat on the couch, as well, a safe distance away. But the worn cushion tilted beneath his weight, and his thigh settled against Delaney’s as he opened the book.

  He hadn’t done it on purpose, she knew. The couch was old, and the cushions sagged. The Ryersons had left their oldest, shabbiest furniture, in hope of getting a vacation rental. Sam had slid against her and hadn’t even noticed. That’s why he didn’t move away.

  But the pressure of his thigh against hers, the heat from the hard muscles in his leg, reminded her how long it had been since she’d touched a man. Since a man had touched her. It made her yearn for more.

  She forced herself to concentrate on combing the tangles out of Rennie’s hair, but her breath caught as Sam’s arm brushed hers.

  There was no sign he had noticed her reaction to him. He didn’t try to get closer to her. He just kept reading, his voice steady, rolling over all of them. Soothing them.

  He stopped reading, but she barely noticed, her awareness of him fading as her fingers moved gently through Rennie’s red curls. She remembered a song Diesel had written: “Redheaded Baby.” A lullaby for his daughter.

  Had he ever sung it to Rennie? Had she ever heard the love in that song?

  Delaney untangled the last knot of hair, but still she continued to stroke the child’s head. Slowly. Gently.

  Diesel would have wanted her to help his children.

  “That’s a pretty song,” Rennie said, twisting around to look at her.

  “What?”

  “You’re humming a pretty song.”

  Delaney had thought the lullaby was only in her head. Sam shifted away from her, but after a moment, he touched her cheek and wiped away a tear.

  His gray eyes were dark and there was a faint flush on his face. “Shall I read another book?” he asked the kids. But he was looking at Delaney.

  She held his gaze for a long moment as her heart thumped in her chest. Then she said, “I think it’s time for a bath.” She was annoyed that her voice sounded hoarse.

  Rennie’s shoulders tensed, and Delaney helped pull her upright. “C’mon, hot stuff,” she said. “Time to get clean.”

  “I’ll finish making dinner,” Sam said, surging to his feet. For a moment he stood too close to her, then he spun away and walked into the kitchen.

  Leo picked up his phone again. “Leo,” Delaney said, “why don’t you set the table for your uncle?”

  He looked surprised, as if no one had ever asked him to do a chore. Then he shrugged. “Okay.”

  Twenty minutes later, Delaney was soaked, but Rennie was clean. There had been a lot of splashing and even some giggles. Rennie put on a brand-new pair of footed pajamas, and insisted on the tear-dampened sweatshirt, as well.

  Sam and Leo were sitting silently at the kitchen table. Delaney had heard their voices as she’d helped Rennie get dressed. Apparently, they’d run out of things to say.

  Rennie scrambled into a chair, and Delaney stood awkwardly in the door as all three of them watched her. “Have a good night, everyone.”

  “You’re not staying for dinner?” Sam asked.

  There were four places set at the table, and she backed up a step. “Um, thanks, but I don’t want to intrude.” Sam needed to interact with the kids on his own.

  “No, stay. Please.” He half stood, then sank back into his chair. “We’d like you to stay. Right, guys?” He looked from Leo to Rennie.

  Leo shrugged, as if he didn’t care. But he watched her from beneath his too-long bangs. Rennie nodded, her wet curls bouncing on her back.

  Delaney’s place was next to Sam, and she scooted the chair a little farther away from him before sitting down. One corner of his mouth curled up. He’d obviously noticed.

  She struggled to make conversation as she ate bottled spaghetti sauce and overcooked pasta. Leo gave one-word answers to her questions. Rennie kept her head down and shoveled food in. Sam was mostly silent, although whenever she glanced at him, their eyes met and held.

  The meal was almost over when Rennie slowly tilted forward. Sam pushed her plate out of the way just before her forehead touched the table. They all stared at the mass of red curls hiding her face.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Sam asked, leaning over the table toward her.

  Leo lifted up his sister’s hair to see her face. “She’s sleeping,” he announced. “Awesome.”

  “Do you think she’s all right?” Sam sounded worried.

  “She’s exhausted,” Delaney said. “Maybe you should just put her in bed.”

  She and Leo followed Sam down the hall to the dreary bedroom. Leo pulled back the covers, and Sam laid Rennie carefully on the bed. She seemed lost, just a tiny lump beneath the ugly comforter.

  After they’d shut the door, the three of them stood in the living room, avoiding looking at each other. Finally, Leo said, “I’m going to check on Rennie.” He disappeared back down the hall.

  That was Delaney’s cue to go. “Good night, Sam.”

  “Wait a minute,” he said, catching her hand. “You can’t leave like that.”

  Sam gripped Delaney’s palm, his thumb resting on the back of her hand. The contrast was fascinating—her palm was callused, but the rest of her skin felt soft and silky smooth.

  Her hand trembled against his for a moment before she drew it away. “What do you mean, I can’t leave like this?”

  “Rennie splashed you. You’re soaked.” The top of her overalls gaped away from her body, revealing a damp red tank top covering her breasts. Her braless breasts, he was pretty sure.

  She must have noticed his attention, because she adjusted the buckles on the overalls to pull the bib taut against her chest. Tiny bumps from her hard nipples poked through the worn denim.

  “…worry about it.”

  “What?” He had no idea what she’d been saying.

  “I said it’s not a big deal.” Her cheeks were pink. “I’ll be in my truck the whole way.”

  He edged a little closer and was fascinated when her color deepened. “That very reliable truck of yours?”

  “I got a new battery. It’s fine.”

  Her hair was a spiky mess, as if it had dried standing straight up. He wanted to run his fingers over it, smooth it down. She’d rubbed any evidence of tears from her face, but a trace of sadness lingered. He wanted to brush that away.

  The truth was, he didn’t want her to go.

  It had nothing to do with the grief in her blue eyes or the vulnerability he saw there. Or the loneliness she wore like an old cloak, familiar and comforting. Protecting.

  “You sure you don’t want to dry off for a while?”

  “No, I’m good.”

  Reluctantly, he stood away from the door. “Thanks for everything. I was…desperate.”

  “I know. You wouldn’t have called me otherwise.” She plucked her keys from the bookshelf by the door, where she’d dropped them on her way in, and turned to go.

  “I didn’t mean that the way you think.” He put a hand on her shoulder, felt the cold dampness of wet clothes beneath his palm, the warm, solid muscle of her arm. “I meant…”

  She turned, forcing him to drop his hand. The weary understanding in her eyes was a surprise. He’d expected anger.

  “I know what you meant, Sam. You don’t want Diesel’s lover around his kids. I get that. You don’t have to apologize.”

  “What?” He didn’t want to acknowledge th
e flare of jealousy he felt at the words Diesel’s lover. “This has nothing to do with Diesel.”

  Her eyes were pools of sorrow. “This has everything to do with your brother. Getting me involved is your last resort, isn’t it? I’m sure you want to keep me as far away as possible from your family. But you can’t do that, because I have something you want.”

  “You have something I need.” He banished the mental picture of Delaney and his brother. “I meant I didn’t want to admit my life was out of control. That I couldn’t handle the kids. That you were right.”

  “Believe me, Sam, I don’t enjoy being right.”

  He slid behind her, blocking the exit. He couldn’t let her leave until she understood. “No, you wouldn’t, would you?”

  Some of his assumptions about Delaney had been wrong.

  “You could have rubbed my nose in the mess here when you showed up, but you didn’t. You just calmed Rennie down.” She’d calmed him down, too. And she’d made Leo feel involved. Sam had had no idea how to connect with his aloof, hostile nephew. “I’m…I had no clue what it was like, taking care of kids. I’ve never felt so unprepared in my life. So completely ignorant.” He touched her arm. “I didn’t want to look like a fool in front of you.”

  She stared down at his fingers on her wrist, then drew away slowly. “You would have figured it out eventually.”

  “Maybe.” Maybe not. “But for now, no one’s upset. No one’s crying. Rennie’s in bed, sleeping. This afternoon was horrible. It tore me apart.”

  “Then figure out how to make it better. Damn it, Sam. It’s not rocket science. People learn to be parents every day.”

  “You can make it better for them. Let me have the demos. Release the songs.”

  “That’s not going to help them,” she said. She waved at the house. “This will help them. Living with you. Getting to know you. Finding out they can count on you. If you don’t want to put any effort into doing that, let them stay with me.”

  But they couldn’t count on him. And he didn’t want them around long enough to figure that out. “I rented this house for a week. They’re only going to be here until…”

  “Until I give in?” Delaney stood rigidly, as if she had a steel rod for a spine. “I hope you’re not holding your breath.”

  “I can’t give Leo and Rennie what they need,” he said desperately. “But you can.”

  “What do you think they need, Sam?”

  He’d already told her that. “Stability. Security.”

  “You don’t need a box of CDs for that.” The way she stood staring at him made him want to squirm.

  “Sending them to a good school is the best thing I can do for them.”

  Delaney shook her head, as if she felt sorry for him. “What a load of crap. A fancy school isn’t going to solve their problems. I went to one, and look how I ended up.”

  Memories darkened the blue of her eyes, and he watched her shake them off. “Rennie wants her uncle Sam to love her and read her bedtime stories. She wants you to pick her up and hold her when she’s scared. That’s what Rennie wants.

  “Leo? I was the same way when I was ten. Resentful, sullen, disrespectful. He’s heading down the same path I took. The same road as Diesel.”

  Her words quivered in his heart like an arrow, but he couldn’t allow himself to feel sorry for the child she’d been. “Leo is ten years old, for God’s sake. And you’re turning him into a drug addict?” Panic made him add, “Just like you did to Diesel.”

  She flinched as if he’d struck her. After a long moment, she said, “You can’t seriously believe the drugs were my fault.”

  “Why wouldn’t I?” She was backing him into a corner, and he couldn’t let her do that. “I never saw him using until you joined the band.”

  “Do you think I had that much power over him? That I took a happy, well-adjusted guy and turned him into an alcoholic drug user?”

  Delaney could make a man do just about anything, Sam thought. The poor sap would fall into those eyes of hers and never get out. “I know what I saw.”

  “You saw what you wanted to see. Diesel was using long before I joined the Redheads, as I told you. He just hid it better then.” There was anger in her expression now, and grief. “I have pictures….” She closed her eyes. “Never mind. You’ll believe what you want to believe, and I can’t change the past.”

  “No, tell me. I want to hear what you have to say.”

  “Do you really, Sam?” She wrenched the door open. “I think you’re holding on to your grudge as tightly as you can. It absolves you of any blame, doesn’t it?”

  “What?” He stared at her, stunned, but her eyes were sad and knowing.

  “No one was able to help him. Not me, not you, not Heather. I know what I tried to do. How about you?”

  As she stared at him, shame poured over him like acid, and he looked away. Couldn’t she see that was why he was no good for Leo and Rennie?

  “Is that what you want for your brother’s children?”

  “No, damn it. I want them to have some self-respect. To know who they are.”

  “Then you have to show them the way.”

  She was halfway out the door when she turned and nailed him with her gaze. “You should ask yourself—is this what Diesel would have wanted for his kids? Would he have wanted his brother to hand them off?”

  “They’ll be better without me,” he said desperately.

  “Really? Better off with strangers than a loving uncle?” She stood there, daring him to say she was wrong. “Are you going to do the right thing for those kids, Sam?”

  He was still silent as he watched her drive away.

  Leaving him alone with his brother’s children.

  CHAPTER TEN

  SAM SMELLED SOMETHING BURNING as he cut up an apple for the kids’ lunch the next day. When he turned around, blue smoke curled above the frying pan. Damn it! The grilled cheese sandwiches.

  He pushed the pan to a back burner and lifted out one of the sandwiches, then reached over to dump the blackened bread in the garbage. It slid off the spatula and hit the floor. As it skidded across the linoleum, Fluffy bolted into the kitchen and grabbed the burned mess.Sam lunged, but the dog managed to avoid him and run into the living room.

  By the time Sam pulled him out from under the couch, half the sandwich was gone. As he tried to pry the remainder out of the dog’s mouth, Rennie began wailing.

  “You’re hurting him. Stop it!”

  “He’s not supposed to eat cheese, Rennie. Remember what the vet said this morning?” Between making sure Leo and Rennie didn’t touch the instruments in the exam room, and trying to calm Rennie when the vet gave Fluffy a shot, Sam didn’t remember many of the woman’s instructions. But as part of her “new dog owner” speech, she’d definitely said not to let Fluffy eat table food.

  “He wants it.” His niece threw her arms around the dog’s neck, squeezing tightly. As Sam tried to loosen her arms, Fluffy gagged and vomited the partially digested sandwich onto the rug.

  “That’s gross,” Rennie cried. “You made him do it.”

  Sam plucked her away from the dog and the mess. She kicked at his legs, landing a blow to his knee that hurt like hell. “Rennie! Settle down! Let me clean that up.”

  “You’re mean, Uncle Sam.” She flailed in his arms. “I want my mommy.”

  Yeah, like Heather was such a great mother. “Your mommy is sick,” he said, trying to calm her. “But she’s going to get better, and then you can live with her again.”

  If he had anything to do with it, neither Leo nor Rennie would go back to Heather. They’d be sheltered in boarding school, safe from both their mother and the paparazzi. But that was a discussion for another day.

  “Leo,” he said desperately. “Tell her to settle down, will you?”

  Leo held out his arms for his sister, triumph in his too-old eyes. As far as he was concerned, Sam was admitting defeat.

  Delaney had asked if he was going to do the ri
ght thing for the kids. Was this what they needed?

  Hell, no. He’d made Rennie cry more than once. Everything was a power struggle with Leo. Sam had burned their lunch. What was Delaney thinking? These kids needed better care than he could give them.

  As they ate a new batch of untoasted sandwiches, Leo said, “I want to go back to Miami. I texted Spike. He said we could live with him.”

  “Who’s Spike?”

  “My friend.”

  “And he invited you and Rennie to live with his family?”

  Leo drew circles in the ketchup on his plate. “Yeah.”

  The kid actually thought Sam would buy that? “Sorry, Leo. You’re staying here.”

  “I want to go back to school.” He shoved his plate away. “I’m missing a lot of stuff.”

  Based on the grades he’d seen, Leo hadn’t cared much about school until now. Unbidden, Delaney’s words from the night before echoed in Sam’s head. He’ll go down the same road as Diesel.

  God, what was he doing with these kids? He pushed away from the table and threw his plate in the sink. How was he supposed to do the right thing for them when he had no idea what that was?

  “We can go back to Miami when I finish up my business here. Until then, you’re staying in Wisconsin with me.”

  Leo shoved away from the table. Moments later, his bedroom door slammed.

  Sam and Rennie finished the meal in silence. She stared at her food as she ate, responding to his questions with a shrug. What the hell was he supposed to do?

  After lunch, he herded them outside to take Fluffy for a walk. Fresh air was supposed to be good for kids. Then Rennie let go of the leash and Fluffy scrambled for the woods.

  “Fluffy!” She ran after him, followed by Leo. By the time Sam caught up, she was sitting on the ground with the dog, mud smeared on her jacket and in her hair. Fluffy was in worse shape. Leo crouched beside them.

  “You’re all wet, Rennie.” Sam squatted next to her and picked up the end of the leash, which was covered with mud. “We need to get you home.” The dog was lying on the ground, panting. It looked as if he’d rolled in the mud. “Fluffy needs another bath.”